Adoption Forum Nightmares!! LOL

Okay, so I went to my agency's adoption forums to support and get support from other adoptive parents who are waiting. So I went to the waiting adoptive parent's forum, and found a post which I thought would be interesting because the poster was in a situation similar to mine. She has children at home already and has been waiting for a while to be matched (I haven't been waiting that long).

She was feeling bummed at having waited this long, so I tried to encourage her, and told her that I truly believe the Lord has our child picked out for us , and to hang in there, and I quoted my favorite scripture, which if you know me even a little bit is Jeremiah 29:11.

With the responses I got you would have thought I lit a litter of Christmas Puppies on fire. Some were offended that I used the words "picked out", while one birthmom (still wondering why she was in the waiting adoptive parent forum) criticized my use of the verse Jeremiah 29:11 stating that God NEVER intends that a child be removed from their biological family.

Okay so I was super depressed after this little mess, so I about gave up. I left a message about just wanting to encourage others, and went on about how I couldn't believe my words of encouragement were picked apart and used the way they were, and the drama still flowed. One wonderful lady (We'll call her My Angel) came to my defense, and we private messaged a little about the birth mom (We'll call her Deeply Bitter Passive Aggressive...long name, so we'll shorten it to DBPA). Angel stated that DBPA is still pretty raw from her adoption placement, and tends to jump into forums and pick on adoptive parents.

After the private message I went back and saw that DBPA had jumped all over Angel and then someone else was still going off about my post which was like 25 or 30 posts. I never wrote anything else in that thread, but as I visited other threads I noticed that there are a few who just seem to go from thread to thread stirring stuff up. It really is sad because most of us I think are there for support, but like in everything there are those few who just SUCK!

I truly hope DBPA finds peace with her decision, and quits being so nasty to all of us who simply have a loving home and heart with a vacancy for a little person who needs to be taken care of, and loved.

I did meet one really nice lady who has now friended me on Facebook, and surprisingly we know some of the same people. Small world when on a national forum you find someone who you have more than a few people and places in common.

So in the mean time I'm not sure I am going to visit the forums as they have put a really bad taste in my mouth. I will not be deterred from what I believe though.

I TRULY with ALL my heart believe and know that the Lord knew what our family would look like before Brian and I ever met, and He knows who our beautiful child is and that child is fully intended for our family. Do I think the Lord intended for children to be separated from their biological families? No, in a perfect world, Mommies and Daddies stay together, and raise Godly children in Godly homes, but this is not a perfect world and we are sinners and for those who choose Christ, we are saved by grace!

So, believe it or not I said a little prayer for DBPA (a little one...I'm still a sinner trying to let her hurtful comments go : ) ), but until then I will quote Anne from Anne of Avonlea. She said this to Katherine (the headmistress at the girls' school, and another bitter woman disappointed by the way her life turned out) "I will not be poisoned by your bitterness".

Waiting

So far this time around the process has been much smoother...mostly because I think we knew what to expect.

I am having a hard time today in this "waiting" period. I know that the Lord has anything under control, but it still doesn't change the antsy feeling I have. I guess I just want to be done with all of this OFFICIAL stuff and just on with being a family.

It is hard not knowing if and when we will be picked, but as time continues to pass, I know that each day brings me closer to our little one.

I am so glad that I have Brian here as my support system. We are both excited, but he is able to somehow not obsess about it like I do. I don't know if its because Mommies are different, and we just can't wait to love and cuddle with our little ones, but on days like today it just feels like I can't wait to hold our little pumpkin.

It is like when you were a kid and you were waiting for Christmas. You don't know what your present is going to be, but the anticipation is crazy as you wait to unwrap your gift, and thank the giver.

In my case I can't wait to meet our birthmom...I'm praying that we get along, and have a good relationship. Through the Bethany forums I've seen a lot of things that encourage me. It seems to me that birthparents are kind of like your in-laws. They are a package deal, and you may just love them to death, or interact with them for the sake of your family. I'm praying the former rather than the latter.

When I married Brian I never imagined we'd be on this adventure together. In so many ways it is so much harder than having biological children, BUT I think that as a couple the process of adoption can really draw your marriage and your family closer together.

I truly am grateful for those that lift us up in prayer. You'll never know how much I appreciate it.

So for now we are like Dory in Nemo! We are gonna "Just keep swimming...just keep swimming". As crazy as it sounds that little crazy fish amazes me with her positive outlook. That is so Brian, and I am of course Marlin...I'm always the one to think something is going to go wrong. So now...we are just swimming along, waiting on the Lord's timing!